Frankly, I never felt the desire to visit one of those webcam websites instead of browsing my Premium Pornhub account. I thought that I didn’t need that live interaction with a hot girl. Why would I pay for sitting in front of the laptop and watching a girl doing various things in real-time when I could upload thousands of similar videos?
There is no need to say that I never felt the desire to have sex on messenger with anyone. Of course, I wrote and sent some hot messages to my girlfriend but it was like the appetizer – I needed that vermouth before I started my delicious dinner. I have tried phone sex just once, in college. I called my long-distance girlfriend and asked her what she was wearing. She answered me and I tried to initiate something hotter, and she just started laughing. Well, this wasn’t the trauma but she let me understand that she was feeling awkward, and I’ve never initiated anything like that again.
Life is funny sometimes. Soon, I had to start to explore the world of long-distance sex. I definitely changed my opinion of some types of online sex, had good and not so good experience, learned a lot about this topic and even made my own list of the most useful tips based on my own experience, as well as on the experience of other people. Now, I want to share my impressions and findings with you.
How To Survive LDR Or What Was My First Time Like?
Of course, there were certain circumstances that made me think about this type of sex again. I returned to the idea of having Skype sex or at least sexting after my girlfriend relocated for a job. It was another US city, so it may seem that we could see each other at least a few times a month, but unfortunately, at that time, things didn’t work like that. We lived on the opposite sides of the country and none of us could afford to travel this often – we both had a job, responsibilities and we didn’t earn this much.
So, we were looking for options. We could wait and hope that the distance and absence of sex will strengthen our relationship instead of ruining it. As you have already guessed, we didn’t choose it. Another option was having sex with others, but I didn’t want to cheat on my girlfriend (hope she felt the same way about this.) Of course, we could masturbate separately, but this didn’t solve the problem of the absence of intimacy between us. And yes, the last option was the one we chose – we decided to use our Skype, smartphones, and messengers to have some great time.
The first time was a bit awkward at the beginning. We’re dating for 3 years, but we haven’t tried anything like that before. Nevertheless, I can’t also say that one of them was unable to focus on each other. We’re always been very close, so after we smiled a lot, I asked her if she remembers the night we spent in Fremont (we visited our friends there.) She smiled and answered that yes, she did, and we started to discuss the details. Fortunately, this allowed us to get rid of the awkwardness and finally get started.
I must admit that watching porn, in particular, the video with a solo girl and watching at your girlfriend naked are two different things. Of course, Skype sex with someone you love is better for one reason: this is not only the hot video with a pretty lady making your dreams come true but also admire your girlfriend and feeling your emotions even at the distance.
It took longer than our regular sex, but we both had orgasms, and that made us repeat this experience again and again.
BTW, here’s the tip from my girlfriend: if you feel awkward at the beginning, just have some wine. Seriously, don’t drink too much if you want this experience to be really great, just drink as much as you need to relax a bit.
We also tried sexting, and frankly, I don’t really understand why people are still doing this. Maybe there is something special in imagining hot things instead of seeing them, but this is just not for me. I like and appreciate sexting only if you are going to set the mood, warm things up and then make a Skype call. I feel the same about phone sex, actually. Nevertheless, I admit that it depends on your tastes and wishes.
Fortunately, I moved to her city soon after we started to have skype sex, and we could enjoy each other’s bodies IRL. Still, I think these few months of online sex were really important for a few main reasons.
Firstly, I want to note that we still have online sex when one of us is on a business trip. Surprisingly, our real sex becomes even better after her or my temporary absence.
Secondly, this experience made us more confident, more open, and even more curious about each other. We both noticed that the necessity to talk about sex
From Practice To Theory
Generally speaking, I think my first time and all the next times were pretty good for both of us. However, I have a confession to make. It happened not because I have a talent. It happened because I was well prepared.
In fact, I used to take everything related to sex really serious, so of course, I made my own research and found a lot of information about long-distance sex, sex experiments via Skype and on messengers, lots of reviews written by people who liked it and by people who consider it to be the most awkward thing they’ve ever done.
However, there are the authors with whom I agree the most. Moreover, I thank them not only for their stories that made me try sex online but also for providing me some really great ideas about the most important and/or interesting things about such kind of entertainment. I posted the links to their stories below, so if you want to read some of them yourself, please, feel free to click on them! So, let’s discuss this hot topic and its hottest aspects in more detail!
Make Some Preparation
Yes, this is the one phrase that means a lot when it comes to webcam sex or dirty talk on one of the messengers. You can think of the best sex you had together (just like I did at my very first time), your fantasies, your partner’s dreams, think how you’d like to start your conversation, i.e. try to come up with some ideas.
Do everything that can be done in advance and then just relax. In my opinion, relaxation is as important as a preparation just because you cannot use your ideas properly if you feel like you are taking the most important and, at the same time the most difficult exam in your life. Relax a bit and remind yourself that you are here to have some fun not to evaluate each other’s ideas, eloquence, and imagination.
Why do I pay this much attention to this? I just don’t want you to repeat my own mistakes. At the very beginning of my journey to the world of phone sex in college, I thought I was supposed to be spontaneous and needed no preparation. I was wrong. However, I think that relying only on the ideas you prepare in advance is the wrong approach too. There is always a middle ground, and you need to find it. It may be tricky at first, but there is one tip – don’t expect too much from yourself, from both of you and from the time you spend together. Just pay enough attention to your partner and their mood, listen to yourself, relax, and use your prepared fantasies to make this experience unforgettable for both of you!
Find The Private Spot & Set The Time
At that time, I was living with my roommate. Of course, I could not call my girlfriend at any time. That’s why we needed to set the time. Yes, this was pretty awkward at the beginning, too. However, we coped with this problem without much difficulty. I initiated Skype sex all the time and we set the time together, but the question was how we did it. I never told her something like ‘Hey babe John is at his parent’s place tonight so I think we need to have Skype sex. Are you available at 3 pm? We won’t have sex for too long, maybe 15 minutes or a bit more, so you’ll visit your dentist, don’t worry.’ I believe things don’t work like that. We both tried to make it romantic and never too straightforward. For example, I smiled, told her that she looks even more gorgeous today, told her how much I miss her and asked her if I can call her this evening to see her beautiful face once again. In most cases, she smiled and we met in the evening.
Avoid The Most Common Mistakes Usually Made By Men
I also found the forum thread on RebootNation.com. This is the forum for people who quitted watching porn or trying to quit, i.e. people with porn addiction. I was extremely interested in what would they say about such type of sex, and frankly, I think that a few ideas these guys expressed may be interesting and useful for all men, including those who haven’t even heard about such addiction.
So, a few interesting thoughts were expressed. In particular, you can perceive your hot Skype talks as porn and as a connection with someone you love. Of course, these are two completely different things. If you are looking just for some fun and don’t really care about the person on the screen, perceiving this process as watching porn is okay.
However, if you and your partner are building a relationship and don’t want the distance to ruin them, you should never use what you see on the screen as the porn video. Though it may seem that you just act like you always do during such “conversations”, you aren’t. The thing is your partner feels how you treat her at the moment, and as the beloved girlfriend or as a porn star. Just care about the spiritual connection, mutual care, gentleness, and sincerity, not only about the picture you see and the sound quality.
I believe we should take advantage of the time we are living in now. I’m talking not only about Instagram, online libraries and Youtube but also about the mind-blowing innovative sex toys. And again, thanks, Ben from Suviveldr, you really opened my eyes to the world of possibilities! There are some awesome vibrators that can be controlled by your partner from the distance.
This and lubricant are must-haves for couples in long-distance relationships and people who really like sexting, skype sex or phone sex. The very fact that someone you like controls your toy and controls the intensity and the process at large can make anyone really horny. Besides, such toys are also great for couples who want to make it more romantic. And don’t forget about lubricant, especially if you are a newcomer – there’s a chance that you will get horny in process, not at the very beginning of your sex date.
Use Innovations To Make It Real
Firstly, I’d like to express my gratitude to a guy (or a girl) TheyCallMeOx from Loveshack or making me feel like a caveman or at least like a guy who can’t use his imagination properly. He made me understand that if you both really miss each other, nothing can stop you from making your long-distance sex as real as possible.
Here is the recommendation from TheyCallMeOx: find a 3D printer (that the tricky part, but you can handle that if you’re really motivated), make a dildo that is the exact copy of your boyfriend’s penis (or of your own penis and give it as a gift), get the HD webcam, care about the lightning, take the wireless microphone (or even two) and make a call. Nowadays, there is no other way to make online sex this real. Some may say that virtual reality can, but let’s be honest, not all of us have Oculus or HTC Vive. Moreover, you can’t make love with your boyfriend or girlfriend playing a VR porn game, and that’s a huge disadvantage for all happy couples who are in long-distance relationships.
The Stop List
As Sandy Walsh aptly notes, Skype sex is not perfect. It works for some people and doesn’t work for others, and that’s absolutely normal.
So, maybe this type of sex is not for you if:
- Nothing is more important for you than physical contact;
- You’d better masturbate instead of trying having something that is like real sex but not quiet;
- A glass or two glasses of wine don’t solve the problem, and you need at least two bottles to get rid of awkwardness;
- You are afraid that your video or photos will be leaked;
- You are not really sure about your partner.
Frankly, all of these things (except for trust issues) bothered my girlfriend and me anyway. However, I must also note that we never thought that we can’t cope with any of them. I mean that online sex may be a great experience, it may help partners who miss each other, it’s great for couples who want to try something new, but if it makes you feel really uncomfortable, just don’t do it. After all, sex is about pleasure, not about the duties or violence that you have to do to yourself.
At the begging of this “review” of online sex, I mentioned that I wasn’t fond of such kind of interaction between partners. I didn’t even like the sites with webcam models much and preferred to watched a Pornhub video instead of choosing a girl and asking her to do something special. Did my opinion about this type of sex change? Yes and no. I still consider sexting and phone sex to be too awkward and even pointless, but still, I admit that a couple may have nice foreplay before they finally see each other on the screen.
Generally speaking, I agree that Skype sex may be really great, too. My girlfriend and I had a wonderful time on Skype and other messengers and this helped us miss each other a bit less. However, if you have never tried it before, you may need some time to get used to such kind of entertainment and get rid of the awkwardness.