Are you dreaming of finding a highly intelligent, witty, and beautiful woman or a man to whom you will be very attracted? You can see it everywhere – all people are chatting, swiping, and flirting to find their perfect match. Over the last decade, online dating has lost its stigma and now more and more singles join the dating apps. In 2019, 15% of American adults regularly use apps or dating sites to find mates. And there is a rational explanation to it – the only possible way to meet your partner is to start doing things that bring you in direct contact with more people. How many single men or women do you meet in a day, week or month?
It’s a numbers game. The more single, available people you meet, the more probable that you’ll meet someone that you find attractive and get along with.
Here, I have categorized all the ways men and women can use to get in touch with a romantic partner, either online or offline (or maybe both). Each has it’s good and bad sides. This guide should help you to decide which option can be your personal favorite to find your mate.
How To Meet Men Or Women Offline: Three Possible Scenarios
Over 30% of singles who have tried online dating have never actually gone on an offline date with the matches these sites have selected for them. There are definitely some advantages: no huge amount of time spent texting and when you finally meet a partner, there is a chance that your chemistry won’t match. So saving time and energy. These are the most possible scenarios for those who want to find their significant others in a traditional, old-school way.
1. In Parks:
Are you a dog person? If you are, here is your dating lifehack. You can babysit your best friend’s pet, it does not really matter. Just start a conversation, “Hello, your puppy is so cute, oh my goodness. This is Buddy, I am pet sitting for my friend”. You may be surprised but it is a huge ice breaker – people who are into dogs are a part of a community and if you are as well, they will be easier to approach.
That’s when you can continue and introduce yourself, “I am…”
If you are just walking in the park and don’t have a dog feel free to come to a person who has one and say greet her puppy. If that dog starts to wag its tail, you’re in.
Are not fan of puppies? That’s not a problem. Take a Frisbee with you. Go up to a nice woman and say, “Hi, my best friend left me for his girl, you want to play Frisbee?” Such a gesture is nice, fun, and definitely not creepy. I think that in most cases if you choose the right woman, she should say yes. Then, you can tell her your name. Be nice and don’t brag. Also, it is important to always be around and be polite. Never tell her what to do unless she asks for help.
2. Go For Coffee:
Many single men (and me as well) go to some public places to work. You can choose a coffee shop or a coworking. The main purpose is to put yourself out there in case a beautiful girl wanted to talk to you. Come to her and ask, “May I share your table?” If she allows, sit down and work. You can make small talk and ask her, “Do you like this place? Is it good for working? I am looking for some places to work and I wonder if you can advise me something.” Then you can get to know each other better.
A great move is to wait until she drinks up her coffee and then you ask if she wants another and then buy it for her. How much is a cup of coffee really? You can afford this gesture. Plus it will be a nice way to impress her.
3. At A Bar:
If you want to meet a nice girl at a bar, my advice is to order a couple of drinks and socialize with your friends or become friends with a bartender. Making a friend of them will easily get you into a social circle as everyone who visits the bar must interact with this person as well. It’d be awkward as hell to walk up to a stranger and talk to him or her. You’d probably say something silly and then just have a trainwreck of anxiety and nervousness.
It can be difficult out there, the first time you come while speaking with the bartender be sure to keep your eyes peeled for any lady that might be eyeing you. Once you’ve successfully done this don’t even worry about talking. Use it to build your confidence to believe that you are a beautiful man and try to love yourself to build that confidence. Once you establish self-love communicating becomes much easier.
Benefits Of Meeting People Offline
You definitely should have some guts to initiate a conversation with a woman on a street. However, if everything works out the rewards are great. Here are the main reasons why you can prefer offline dating:
You Can Build A Friendship First
If you meet your partner in person, there’s a higher chance that you could build up a friendship first. Why is it important? You probably would like to have a bond that isn’t solely lustful and a complete, trusting relationship. Sometimes some of that friendship element gets lost in online dating as you both are meeting solely for the purpose of romance.
It can happen with anyone who uses an online dating app – and to more singles than can believe it. If you ever tried to use Google Images with a profile picture of your match, then you know what I mean. These types of accounts are often called ‘Dating scams.’
You may spend weeks or months on texting and playing games which may not necessarily result in real-life relationships. When (or even if) you finally meet a person offline, there is a chance that your chemistry will not match. Although you are limiting yourself to a certain location or a social circle, there is a higher chance to figure things out much quicker.
You Know The Real Appearance Of Your Date
In the world of online dating, the profile photo says nothing about your real looks. You can wonder whether the picture is accurate or not, but you will never know for sure until the first date. When you meet someone from the real world, you don’t have to guess and waste your time.
Is Online Dating A Real Thing?
Online dating is now a ‘go-to’ method for meeting new people. Dating sites and apps make their best to advertise their services and bring lots of statistical information about the effectiveness of online dating. For example, a survey held in 2019 among Americans shows that 20% of all the respondents began their current relationships online.
Whatever the success rate is, I cannot deny that online dating has revolutionized the way singles meet their mates. What used to be a place for desperate people with low self-esteem, now turns into the most popular place for creating meaningful relationships. No matter if it is a hookup app or a dating site for long-lasting relationships, online dating significantly facilitates the process of finding a match.
If you are ready to dive into the world of online dating, here is what you are going to go through on the way to your future partner.
The average mainstream dating app has a matchmaking questionnaire that can contain from 10 to 500 matching questions. Then you will know which person to choose depending on the compatibility rating. Most apps automate this process and match you only with those profiles that have a high compatibility rating.
52142247 – online dating app against smiling asian woman on couch using laptopWhat I have personally noticed is that the members of subscription-based dating sites have a higher commitment than, say, Tinder, which is a free casual dating site. This sounds odd at first, but someone who is willing to pay for a service is much more committed to finding someone than an individual who isn’t. Thus you’re more likely to meet someone who’s willing to work with you to make a relationship successful.
These sites also have better matches. When you sincerely want to find your significant other, you will spend more time on the site filling out the profile, uploading quality photos, answering messages, etc. Matches, therefore, are more relevant as a result of more accurate data.
Thus, if you try a little harder with your profile and will be an active user, then you have decent chances to find a partner.
Pros And Cons Of Online Dating
Here are the pluses and minuses of online dating I find relevant:
- You can find a match from all corners of the world;
- The compatibility rating helps avoid random people;
- You can see who is interested in your profile and initiate a conversation;
- You can make use of various communication tools: video calls, emails, live chat, etc.
- Some dating sites are not free;
- Some online relationship never turn into real dating;
- Scam profiles, online fraud.
Mainstream, Casual, Or Marriage Dating Sites? Types Of Online Dating Services
There are dozens of dating site types available today. Whether you are looking for a dinner date, a hookup, or a marriage, or anything else, you can be sure that you will find the needed website. Here are the main online dating niches that can be well-suited for your dating goals.
Mainstream Dating Sites
If you are looking for some platform that has lots of subscribers from around the world then you can join a mainstream dating site. I bet you’ve heard of them: Match, eHarmony, Zoosk, Plenty of Fish, and many others. Here you will see that members are not too serious about finding a wife or a husband. It is more of a social network that has a pool of verified profiles that are eager to communicate with each other.
Mainstream dating sites use matchmaking tools to narrow down the list of potential matches and help you find a mate faster.
They can definitely compete with hookup sites as they maintain better sex ration than most casual dating apps.
How can they achieve a better ratio?
Most dating apps invite females to join the community for free, while men should pay for a subscription. Sounds unfair? Maybe. But it’s the only way to omit that uncomfortable all-male party atmosphere like on casual dating sites.
If you want to find a one-night stand, then relationship apps are not the best option. You may want to skip all the communication and dating thing and just get laid. Such hookup sites prove the point that meeting a like-minded person should not be a great deal.
You may be looking for a real hookup, a cam model live show, or just blow off steam with exchanging sexual videos – adult sites have it all.
Mail-Order Bride / International Dating Sites
If you are looking for a beautiful woman or a decent man from another country, then your option is to become a member of the international dating site. Most of these websites are focused on long-term relationships or marriage and are not for those who want to hookup.
Have you ever heard of mail order brides? Seemingly an old practice, it has earned a reputation among the men from the USA, UK, and Western Europe who are looking for women from Russia, Ukraine, Asian, and Latin countries. These sites serve as marriage agencies – they list women profiles that contain detailed information for the men to make a decision.
Culture and language aside, men here can be 20-30 years older than women, making them members of different generations.
Niche Dating Sites
These are the specialized dating sites that invite members of a particular race, religion, profession, or interests.
These style sites focus on a specific demographic and customize their profiles for the questions important to that demographic. Something your general dating sites cannot do. If the demographic you identify with is that important to you, these sites have a great potential to find you a match that will be a long term success. They have a high level of commitment. Daters usually search specifically for this niche dating site and care about finding someone within the same demographic.
You can find the following niches online:
- Religious dating sites: sites for Muslims, Christians, Jewish people, Adventists, matrimonial dating sites, etc.
- Specialized dating sites: military dating, nudists, fitness fans, big people, single parents, only attractive people, farmers, etc.
- Ethnic dating: Russian, Asian, Latin American, etc.
How To Attract Other Members Online
The two pillars of an outstanding dating profile are great profile pictures and witty self-description. If you make those look good, I guarantee that you are almost there.
- Clear recent pictures with a smile. Dress nicely, shave, if you are a guy, remove a baseball hat and get a friend with a nice camera to take a picture. Or better, get professional pictures.
- Show your full face and body. No need to deceit anyone. Show that you are happy the way you are and not hiding anything. Outside pictures are nice.
- Posture. Stand up straight, shoulders back. Hands out of your pockets. You can see I stick a thumb out, that’s ok. Smile, smile, again, smile.
- No sunglasses. Immediate reaction: What are you hiding? Are you confident?
- No group pictures. It is hard to tell which I have to pick. I pic the fourth girl on the right then. Oh, it’s not you. Well, please send me her number.
- No pictures at a party, with food or alcohol. It seems that you like to party, eat and drink wine. Who are you looking for? A party friend or a trusted mate to help you grow?
- No skydiving or climbing pictures. It’s cool you do that. It is just hard to see you on those pics flying through the air at 120 mph.
- No pet pictures. I know you love your dog. Does it mean you are a good person? No. Seems like every young professional has one. Is that a new trend? I feel sorry for the dogs who stay in a tiny apartment all day and get 30 minutes of walking, after eating dry food. Don’t know, it’s just me. Just put in a description of your profile that you like animals.
- No bathroom selfies, half-naked or near your car. Common, what do those pictures imply?
Put the qualities you are looking for. For example, “I like successful, independent, confident women”. But remember that you have to be “that” you want to attract. You want to embody those qualities and work on yourself.
For girls: Everyone likes the “The Office”, wants to travel, be a blogger and be an animal shelter worker. You are not standing out. Put a piece of you out there. What do you like to do? What recent book you read and share the main takeaways? Be interested in others and be interesting. Ask what you would like to know about a potential date on your profile. Write “Tell me what is the highlight of your day? My is….”. Add “I would re-watch this movie…., because….”. The same applies to guys.
I usually put “Lets FaceTime first to see if we have chemistry to go on a date”. That shows you are confident and know what you are looking for.
It’s not enough to meet a member on a dating site. You have to win their hearts, make them crazy about you, and eager to meet offline. This is not as difficult as it may seem but still requires systematic work and effort.
I always say this, you have to be an active user which means everyday search and communication. If you a premium member, you can use various paid features that help to promote your profile and show it to more women. Try different approaches and site features to chat with other members and you will soon find the right person.
Online Or Offline Dating: Which One Fits You Better
What I recommend is that you should mix both. Start online dating – 5% of people from the USA that are married or are in the committed relationships claim that they met online!
Also, start going out and doing more activities. In my experience, the best way to meet men or women is taking a dance class, where you change partners every few minutes, and you meet many different people. It’s low-risk, fun, good exercise, and you are learning something that will allow you to meet more and more new friends.
Or, go to a meet-up group, or some kind of activity where there will be a lot of single people. You’ve already met everyone in your comfort zone, so you need to do something different to get a different result.
Another issue that has SO much to do with your dating success and finding your soulmate is your mindset. So many single women and men do not believe that they will ever meet someone special. You must believe that you will do this. A positive mindset is critical.
If you think you are too old, too skinny, too tall, etc, guess what? You’ve already defeated yourself before you ever started! It is never too late to find your soulmate. And, if you wait until you are ready, you will be waiting forever.
Start now. Take action, do something, and don’t give up. The real secret to meeting your soulmate is to keep meeting people, don’t stay with people who treat you badly and don’t stay with people who don’t want the same thing that you do. (Meaning a long-term relationship). And don’t give up. If you follow this plan, you will meet your partner.