Have I ever had an awful night because of the mistakes I’ve made in bed?
Tbh, I had plenty of such nights. Some of my lovers were patient and polite and they never told me that I’m a terrible partner; some of them told me to have a long walk or even slapped me in the face (that was a crazy but beautiful woman, huh…). Well, the girls who were honest with me or even reacted aggressively to my sex mistakes taught me some lessons.
- You will never have a great night without your partner having pleasure too.
- You will certainly have a sex break after your partner’s negative reaction to your mistreatment. No one will be inspired to have sex with someone if he/she was recently interrupted by an angry partner or… well, get slapped in the face (some people like it, but I don’t; I would rather have sex without pain and aggressive domination).
- The rumors about your egoism will spread all around your social circle.
Here’s the list with all the mistakes that I’ve made (I will not highlight them, just know that there are some of mine, heh) and sex fails that I’ve found on the web when tried to understand what I can do wrong in bed.
Major Sex Mistakes Men Usually Make
Anyone makes mistakes in bed. Don’t get depressed because of some negative experience, it’s still an experience! Don’t want to feel that negativity? I have a list of the most common sex fails people make – check it out!
Mistake # 1: Believe That She Will Definitely Have An Orgasm From Intercourse
According to the research conducted by Planned Parenthood, only 20% of ladies are reaching orgasm through vaginal intercourse. In other words, you really should try to “study” how your girl’s body works and on what touches it reacts. And it would be great if men spend some time in other forms of sexual stimulation.
Mistake # 2: Skip Courting And Seduction
Guys, it is impossible to have sex with a woman without charming her. Foreplay just should be the start of almost any sex and I’m talking not about it. I mean, you should make something for your girl to know that she is desirable, beautiful, and sexy. Get her some flowers, bring a bottle of wine or something… Add some romance, okay? For the ladies, sex starts not in bed, but much earlier.
Mistake # 3: Ignore Non-Verbal Cues
Some ladies say that men don’t listen to them. Well, it is true in some cases, but the thing is that women usually suppose hints to be clear statements… However, some men really ignore even obvious things. If your sweetie changes her position during sex or physically expresses that something makes her uncomfortable (or on the contrary, that she is feeling great), listen to her. I mean, try to understand her body language. It speaks even clearer than English.
Mistake # 4: Start Experimenting Without Asking For Permission
Before spicing things up with something new, discuss it with your partner. No woman wants to understand that her lover wants to try something completely different already in the process. Ask your girl whether or not she wants to experiment with you! If you don’t care about her feelings (both physical and mental), she will not care about yours too.
Mistake # 5: Stick To The Plan No Matter What’s Going On
You start in the bedroom.
You kiss her.
You touch her nipples.
You… you know. This is not how things work! You can get the real relaxing pleasure only with spontaneous actions (if those actions don’t hurt anyone – remember mistake #4?). If you suppose that your plan is perfect and is worth realization, try to correct that plan according to what’s happening and what your girl wants to do. It’s okay if you start in any other place if you touch only her hair, and if you kiss her just one time. Let it be and have a good time anyway.
Mistake # 6: Move Too Fast
It’s cool if you feel perfect and can finish quickly but… Girls don’t like quick sex in most cases (in most but not in all the cases!). Well, some women may even feel uncomfortable if a man moves too fast during intercourse. Calm down, kiss her, touch the most sensitive parts of her body and then start again, slowly and gently.
Mistake # 7: Suppose That You Know What All The Women Want
It’s the biggest mistake of men ever. Even if you have a great sex experience, you’re a master of foreplay, and you can guess how a female body reacts and what to do to make a girl reach that peak, you may get puzzled with your new girlfriend who wants completely different and acts in a different way during sex. To satisfy a girl is a science, and, unfortunately, we have to “study” each girl’s preferences. Yet, your experience may make this process shorter and much easier.
Mistake # 8: Think Only About Reaching Orgasm
Yes, orgasm is the climax, the best part of the whole process. Or not the best? Think about sex as about one long pleasuring act that can bring delight during the whole time in bed. Focus on your beauty, on her body, and your own pleasure as well. You will memorize such a long and great night, I promise 😉
Mistake # 9: Believe That Good Sex Depends Only On Their Actions
As far as sex involves the two people, its (let me say this) quality depends on both of them. Don’t get depressed if your woman did not reach the best orgasm in her life or didn’t have any at all. She might have a long exhausting day, cannot relax, or be just a tabula rasa for you (with the new girls it is always a challenge). Breathe in, breathe out, and start again! After some time, if needed.
Mistake # 10: Avoiding Oral Sex
Some women experience difficulties with reaching orgasm from intercourse, as I’ve already said. Well, try oral sex, dude. It would not be a mistake not to touch her clit, but your lady may like it and finally get what she wants from sex with you. Additionally, the clit is the most sensitive part of a female body (physiologically), and she is likely to have an orgasm from your gentle touches.
Mistake # 11: Being Silent During Sex
Guys, I don’t mean that you should moan, okay? I mean, add a little dash of some arousing words whispered in the ear of your girl. Say that she is hot, say that you want her so bad that couldn’t control yourself and all that stuff, you know. Just say something pleasant. Female satisfaction depends on mental state and arousal peach – make it greater by a few words.
Mistakes Women Make
Mistake # 1: Saying Nothing About What They Want
Girls, sweeties, come on, we’re not reading minds! Let us know what you like, please, for us to make sex pleasant for you too. You wanna have a good night, don’t you? Be honest with us. Btw, honesty in bed makes sex even better because once you open your mind you will be completely relaxed physically and emotionally. It is the best state of body and mind to have a cosmic orgasm.
Mistake # 2: Faking Orgasms
A sad fact: almost 20% of women have never had an orgasm. Be honest with me, girls: if you don’t have an orgasm, do you fake it? Let me explain why it’s completely senseless. Ladies, it’s one of the worst things that you can do – both for you and for us. We can tell if your orgasm is real or not and we’ll consider a fake one as an insult. There is really no need to act like you’re experiencing your best pleasure if you’re not. It does not make any sense because men may suppose that everything they should do for your orgasm is what they do now.
Mistake # 3: Pretending To Be More Experienced Than They Are
It may be either dangerous or just dull. First of all, it does not matter how experienced you are if you are already in your lingerie and in bed. Second of all, we will easily recognize that you are just pretending to have a lot of… erm… experience within the first minutes. Additionally, if you have never tried any sex practices, you should better say it, because it may result in not only in disappointment but sometimes even in pain.
Mistake # 4: Reacting Too Aggressive To Little Things
If your partner starts to do the new things with his tongue, it does not mean that you should actually scream out loud and run away from the apartment. Little harmless experiments and spontaneous actions that don’t hurt you should not lead to your hysteria (so should men remember as well when it comes to tiny experiments initiated by girls).
Mistake # 5: Worry Too Much About How They Look
Really, ladies, if you are naked in front of your man, he will not notice that your makeup smudged a bit or that your hair is not as smooth as you want it to be. It doesn’t mean that we’re stupid or blind: we may notice your makeup and hair, and so on, but it doesn’t really matter how you look in bed if we have already started and you look beautiful and so sexy with all that casual mess on your head and face.
Mistake # 6: Cracking Rude Jokes
Joking at your man’s body is bad. Really, really bad. Humor is great even during sex but only if you and your man like it. You should find out if your partner likes having fun in bed and then find out if he likes rudeness. It is quite a special thing. Additionally, saying something like: “What a cute little penis you have, lol” to your lover is a bit… offensive for him. If he is not a fan of some special sex practices, of course.
Mistake # 7: Making Weird Noises
Moans are sexy but if you start to cry, scream, yell or do something weird, first the passion goes, then the desire to share the bed with you. It may happen after some time, of course, but it will likely happen. In short, there is nothing arousing or sexy in noises that don’t tell us that you are feeling good.
Mistake # 8: Thinking That Your Lover Is Always Up To Sex
Some men have a sex addiction and they cannot even control themselves when it comes to some pleasant time with a cool girl. But the truth is that not all the men have an addiction, not all the men are willing just about any time, and all the men may be tired, upset, or they can just want to do something else. Respect the desires of your partner. If you are ready for the active night, your lover does not have to masturbate in a bathroom to satisfy you. Because of the pressure, he puts on himself, it’s unlikely he will want to touch you with admiration next time.
Mistake # 8: Be Afraid Of Telling Us That You Are Not Okay With Something We Like
If you love someone so much that you cannot even say something that he may not like, this isn’t love. It is an addiction that can cause tons of mental problems. I will not talk here about all that healthy relationship stuff, I just want to say that it’s stupid to keep quiet when you just have to say that you don’t like something.
Mistake # 9: Never Initiate Sex
I know, I know – how can you know that your partner wants you? The answer is – you can’t know that if you don’t try. The majority of men usually play a guessing game with you, so why don’t you try to play it too? Keep calm: a lot of men adore girls who like to start by themselves. Don’t do it too often, it may start to be uncomfortable, but to spice things up with it from time to time would be great.
Mistake # 10: Expect That He Will Do Everything By Himself
If you need lubrication – take the one you like. If you need condoms – get them. If you want him to go “downtown” – come on, say it gently or show that you want it! There are things that you should do by yourself. Don’t be surprised by some things that he might not know about you. Need it – get it. It is great if your lover has cared about everything you two may need, but it is a bit weird for a man to have a collection of all existing sex toys, a first aid kit, a cute little bear, and a mind-reading tool.
Ways To Help Yourself To A Better Sex Life: To Sum Up
- Relax and be honest – it is the best thing you can do before and during sex.
- Try something new, such as slavery, discipline (or domination), sadism, and masochism. You can try this BDSM site to find a partner or mentor.
- Discuss the experiments with your lover. Guys, don’t come to anal sex if you are not sure if your woman wants it. Girls, same.
- Be initiative. If you are a woman it does not mean that you should be shy and act like a virgin. Don’t get me wrong: it is nice and sexy to see a blushing woman in bed but if it doesn’t change with time, men can lose their interest.
- If you are a man – come on, be a bit more self-confident! It’s better to make a little mistake than to do nothing. Be careful with that, though…
- Respect the desires of your partner. If one does not want to do something, don’t pressure.
- Don’t be over-critical. If your honey offers you to try something new, don’t get mad or yell at her or him: it is not a healthy and adequate reaction. A simple “I don’t want it” will be enough.
- Don’t be rude with your partner (unless he/she wants it, of course). Nothing affects arousal worse than unwanted rudeness.
- Try sexting if you feel that you are bored. It is harmless but so powerful.
- Add sensual massage to your foreplay. No comments.
- Write down your fantasies. If you don’t have a piece of paper at the moment the inspiration catches you – text your thoughts to your partner.
- Use lubrication if needed. There is no need to stand uncomfortable feelings or even pain just to show that you don’t need some additional things to ease the process.
- Try the positions you’ve never tried. Classic.
- A vibrator is not the replacement for a penis – it may be a great arousing toy and just an addition to your sex games. Try it.
- Try tantric sex. It will make your ordinary sex better, more sensual and emotional.
What can I say except for “don’t do stupid things” and “have a nice day”?
I can say that you can do whatever you want with your sex life. You can listen to me or not; you can choose anyone else to trust and follow the recommendations; you can do the wrong things and get new experience. Remember: all the people make mistakes, and you are not a special god-like one who cannot make them. You’re special and unique, but you are a person with desires, feelings, and, well, sex fantasies. The only thing I would recommend you to do is to respect all these of your partner, and don’t give up if you cannot make sex great for him or her. Try again and you’ll succeed, I promise.